She's JV to your varsity
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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