Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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