If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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