found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
