i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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