so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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