Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
