I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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