if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
