She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
