i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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