yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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