The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
