I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
