He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The air was thick with penises
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
