Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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