I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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