apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
