oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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