He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
