I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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