I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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