I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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