Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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