I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
