i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i've created a new STD.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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