Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
