i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize