Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
