Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
