why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
