I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
