omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
