he was CRYING into my vagina
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
