we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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