That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was CRYING into my vagina
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize