And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
