Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize