How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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