bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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