Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
tell me about the fingering
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