Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
