1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
