so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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