I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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