On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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