her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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