Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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