I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
