I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
