Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I AM VODKA MAN
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
