The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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