I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Blood and glitter go together right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
