Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
