Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
