You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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