i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
