I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
