I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
