"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
