Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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