Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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